Early career training for pushy kids

Have you ever looked at your child and thought, “Timmy sure would make a great airport security agent.” Well, put Timmy on the right path now with the Scan-It X-Ray machine ($29.95) from Wizard Industries, the proud makers of Safety Bifocals and the Lumber Wizard.

Yes, now your child can harass their friends as they make them empty their pockets and send their shoes through the scanner. Got a laptop or calculator? Better remove it form the case and set it in the grey bins (note: grey bins not included). Think of the fun your kids will have weeding out potential terrorists and keeping your house safe. Today it’s your house, tomorrow…Sky Harbor! Order yours today!!

Why would anyone ever make something like this for children, you ask? I quote from the website, “Scan It® is an educational and creative play toy that helps children become acclimated with airport and public spaces security. The device is both a fun toy and an educational tool.” “This unique toy/teaching aid provides ample amounts of healthy fun along with education and awareness of the security measures that people face in real life. A fun and educational booklet is also available upon request along with other online resources at OperationCheckpoint.com. Additional projects and education on airport and public spaces security is also available at OperationCheckpoint.com.”

Really?

Do kids really need to be acclimated to airport security? No. Should they be aware of what will happen at the airport IF they go? Absolutely. Does the world need a toy that simulates airport security? Probably not. The last place I would want even a glimmer of airport security would be in my own house. “Welcome home honey, now put your shoes and briefcase on the scanner!”.

The box says you can "woosh items through security." Honestly, when was the last time anyone was "wooshed" through security. It should come with retractable line markers so you can make everybody wait in an organized manner while you make people take off their belt buckles and rummage through their purses looking for anything over 3 oz.