my next Apple purchase...

This is by artist Natalie Dee and it's titled "it's all cool until you get to the sauerkraut track"

Surprise Vacation for Krispy!!

So, I've been telling my wife for weeks now that we're going to take a vacation this weekend but I haven't told her where. She thinks she knows one of the places we may go out of our two destinations. She hasn't gone completely crazy from not knowing partly because she really doesn't have to do any planning or preparation except to pack. Yep, I've taken care of everything so all we have to do is roll out tomorrow at 8 AM and head to where ever it is we are going. Much fun will be had at our various destinations and pictures of said fun may be posted here when we get back. We're pretty bad at remembering to take pictures so if we remember to take any, we'll share some with the Internet via this blog.

massive boredom at work

Okay, so I didn't really do this...but that how bored I am! I can only Google so many things before I need to move on to another activity. I'm running out of things to do. I know what you thinking but I'm not gonna do ANY work! I'm going on vacation tomorrow and am currently the most unmotivated person in the world. Ooh...I wonder what's new on YouTube...? Later.

My New Jam

I’m probably one of the more “white guys” you’ll meet. Not just in skin color, but pretty much every sense of the word. In my car, however, this is a different story. When I’m in my car I like to imagine I’m in my native land of Caucasia where there are no races or colors. Where the native dance is on-beat but awkward and you can like what ever you want. For this reason I declare my new Jam to be “Stronger” by Kanye West. Not the cussy CD version, the cleaned-up radio version. It has a super-cool robot voice that sings in it. Normally, I hate everything about Kanye West but this song is currently the only item I’ll endorse. When I’m in my state of Caucasia I can listen to Movin’ 97.5 FM without being ashamed or embarrassed. But as soon as someone else enters the car, I have to hop back into reality and change the channel; unless it’s Michael Jackson…then it stays. He can get as creepy as he wants, I still love his music. I wanted to be him when I was little…him and Mr. T. And in Caucasia, that’s okay. But you can’t be Ricky Martin...that’s not cool anywhere.

Way cuter than yours

She's pretty much the cutest thing since I was a little kid.

orange is the color of awesome

So, my sister’s pretty cool. I like to think I’m as cool as her sometimes but, let’s face it, who am I kidding? Holly likes orange. A lot. No, you don’t understand, if it were possible to go out with a color, she would totally be dating orange. I like orange, too. Not as much as Holly but I enjoy it. Well, she turned me on to a pretty awesome blog called How About Orange… It is by far one of the coolest blogs that I’ve visited. It’s kinda crafty, dare I say a little girly at times, but totally awesome.

The blogger behind it, Jessica Jones, has incredible taste and talent. She’s a graphic designer and great DIY-er (if that’s not a real word, it is now). Anyways, the blog isn’t just about the color orange. In fact, the majority isn’t (okay, so it kind of is). It’s mostly about ways to make your house/apartment/domicile the most awesome place it can be. Almost all the “projects” (that’s the less gay way to say “crafts”) are low budget and highly awesome. You don’t have to be an expert at anything to make said projects either. You just have to have enough sense to realize what she does is really cool.

I really dig it because she mixes in graphic design stuff (which I’m into) with really cool projects (which I’m also into) with other random thought. Go check it out!

Disclaimer: I am totally straight. So I like what some may call “crafty things”…sue me. I like doing projects, not crafts. PROJECTS. Just remember when you laugh at me, my house will be way cooler than your house someday. Read THIS post form the blog. She feels the same way, which makes her even cooler.

Early career training for pushy kids

Have you ever looked at your child and thought, “Timmy sure would make a great airport security agent.” Well, put Timmy on the right path now with the Scan-It X-Ray machine ($29.95) from Wizard Industries, the proud makers of Safety Bifocals and the Lumber Wizard.

Yes, now your child can harass their friends as they make them empty their pockets and send their shoes through the scanner. Got a laptop or calculator? Better remove it form the case and set it in the grey bins (note: grey bins not included). Think of the fun your kids will have weeding out potential terrorists and keeping your house safe. Today it’s your house, tomorrow…Sky Harbor! Order yours today!!

Why would anyone ever make something like this for children, you ask? I quote from the website, “Scan It® is an educational and creative play toy that helps children become acclimated with airport and public spaces security. The device is both a fun toy and an educational tool.” “This unique toy/teaching aid provides ample amounts of healthy fun along with education and awareness of the security measures that people face in real life. A fun and educational booklet is also available upon request along with other online resources at OperationCheckpoint.com. Additional projects and education on airport and public spaces security is also available at OperationCheckpoint.com.”

Really?

Do kids really need to be acclimated to airport security? No. Should they be aware of what will happen at the airport IF they go? Absolutely. Does the world need a toy that simulates airport security? Probably not. The last place I would want even a glimmer of airport security would be in my own house. “Welcome home honey, now put your shoes and briefcase on the scanner!”.

The box says you can "woosh items through security." Honestly, when was the last time anyone was "wooshed" through security. It should come with retractable line markers so you can make everybody wait in an organized manner while you make people take off their belt buckles and rummage through their purses looking for anything over 3 oz.

Best. Homemade. Gift. Ever

Okay, so I said I would post pictures of my awesome homemade, hand-sewed Valentine's Day gift for Kristi. Well, here they are!!!
Pretty awesome, huh? For those unfortunate people who don't know who this is, it's Yoda, in all his mini-glory. I found the pattern for his body online and I pretty much made up the rest. I totally made him a little backpack to put his little book in. The book says, "Love you, I do" but you have to say it in a Yoda voice for the magic to really work.

Real Issues on G-chat

So, I have a job but sometimes I get bored. Okay, a lot of times I get bored. That’s why I love Google Chat (gchat). My sister, Holly, and I pretty much carry on the most random conversations throughout the day until she goes home from her job. Then I’m lonely. So lonely. Here’s a real life example:

me: yeah
i got bottlecaps at work yesterday for Valentimes
Holly: I got sick
beat that
me: i like mine better
Holly: me too
you can get a fat box of bottlecaps at walmart for 88 cent
i had one
me: i know
then i would be sick
Holly: you don't eat them all at once
you savor them
except the red ones
throw those out
they suck
me: i really have no self-control with candy like that
it's kinda sad really
Holly: yeah, that is sad
i'm the same way with sugar snap peas
i have no ocntrol
or control
some douche left a bag of chocolate tied to our door yesterday
a house full of girls doesn't need that
he's done it before though
me: i just ate a red bottlecap
they don't totally suck
they are just the worst out of all the bottlecap flavors
Holly: yeah and in the bottlecap world that means you suck
me: scratch that...orange is the worst
Holly: no, red is totally the worst
me: tastes like nasty medicine that's trying to taste good
Holly: the red or the orange?
me: orange
that's why they are more worser than red
Red is actually trying to be candy. Orange doesn't care if it tastes like crap. He knows weird people are into that sort of thing
Holly: Red is not trying to be candy
what pop do you know that tastes like that bottlecap?
nothing
it's an imposter
me: it's more of a Kool Aid flavor
Holly: orange is trying to be all the orange it can be
don't knock it
me: it sucks at it
Holly: red is just pure suckfaceness
are we really having this convo?
Haha
I love it
me: i'm totally posting this on the blog
Holly: do it!!
red doesn't even come close to Kool Aid
unless you're eating it straight out of the package with no sugar
then maybe
'cause that sucks too
me: that's kinda what it's like. It's like that cloud of red dust that attacks you nostrils when you dump it into an empty pitcher

FunnyRandomPicture

...and no, I'm not racist. I rike errybody!!

So, I’m pretty much the best husband ever

This year Kristi and I decided that instead of buying fancy gifts, like jewelry and flowers, we would make homemade gifts on a budget of $20. I racked my brain and only came up with the idea yesterday of what I would do (the Internet officially has everything). I spent a total of $1.80 and I guarantee it will be a gift to remember. I wanted to make her a gift that would leave no doubt that it was made by me. I made that gift. Hand-cut, hand-sewn (that’s right ladies, I can kind of sew) and 100% awesome. I can’t tell you what it is right now because I haven’t given it to Kristi yet. But once I give it to her I am so putting pictures of my masterpiece on this blog for the world to see. I am so proud of myself. If I weren’t me, I would totally want to be friends with me. That’s how cool this gift is. More to come soon…

Rebuttal

I refuse to overlook my husband's sarcastic yet halarious remarks on one of the most captivating books I've ever encountered. I've been thinking all day about how I could come up with some smart slight to his witty words. Well, here it is . . .my dedication to my one true love . . .Edward Cullen. HA! I'm not one of those tattoo wearing obsessed fanatics out there. Reading is just my female version of the XBox360 and it's cheaper too. (We don't have one, but he wishes.) When I find a story that even romotely reminds me of my husband and me and our high school romance, I'm all over it. And when I'm done reading it, I remember even more the man I fell in love with. (Here's where it gets real sappy) My husband is the most amazing, confident, halarious, loving, perfect being out there for me. I'm so glad we found each other so early in life because we have so many great memories that we will remember for a lifetime and beyond. (It's a good thing I was a good journal writter in high school and college.) I'm glad I've learned, for the most part, to not take his sarcasm too seriously and he's learned to be less sarcastic. We're a work in progress together and it's brought us so much closer to each other. I love that we can laugh at, and with, each other on a regular basis. I love it when he calls me from work at 4 in the afternoon just to see how my day was, whether he wants to hear it or not. The biggest thing I've learned since meeting Mike is that life happens and you've got to just keep going, making the best of each situation. Also, all of your dreams will never come true the way you expect them to because if you do what is right, Heavenly Father will bless you with a dream that is far better than you can imagine. That's what Mike is for me. I love you Michael Phillip Harris! Always have, always will. Happy Valentine's Day!

Ever get that "not-so-special" feeling?

I just did. I had an interesting piece of info that I thought for sure my sister wouldn't know. Here's how it went down in gchat:

me: lucky
Did you hear Superstition Springs mall is getting a 2-level merry-go-round?
Holly: yup

Sadface on my face.

Thunder status: Stolen

Get out of my head, Disney Channel!!

We have a 3 ½ year old daughter who’s probably the cutest thing in the world. I love every bit of her little guts. She loves the Disney Channel. That’s where the issue starts. I’m a fan of Disney and the entertaining and educational cartoons they make. Brooklyn has surprised me a lot with how much she knows while watching said shows. What I don’t understand is how Disney, with their limitless power and wealth, can hire on one of the most annoying singing voices ever. I’m talking, of course, of Annie from Little Einsteins. She has a voice that makes me want to break things when I hear it. It physically makes my head hurt. That’s kinda sad because it’s a really good show and Brooklyn loves it but Annie totally ruins it, for me and probably for the world. And as if her voice isn’t bad enough, she puts words to classical music and those words cannot escape my brain. I find myself singing them throughout the day. When I try to replace it with a different song, it’s either another trainwreck that Annie sings or it’s a song from another show like Johnny and the Sprites or Lazytown. I can’t escape it. I almost wish it was Hannah Montana or High School Musical but I don’t know any songs from those shows (I swear). At least they are relatively talented. If you are a parent, then you know my pain. I’m fully aware that some have it worse than me but that never stops me from a good whine-fest. “Oh, yes, oh, yes, it’s Springtime! Oh, yes, oh, yes, it’s Spr-mmmfffffff” Pillow to the face for you, Annie!!

I'll give up pop when I die...

I will pretty much never be able to give up soda. Ever. I like it to much. I wouldn't say I'm "addicted", I can stop whenever I want! Okay, that's a huge lie. I could never do that. Reason being is the alternatives have limits. Water is good but it has no flavor and is totally boring. Juice is good, and sometimes even good for you, but can get expensive. But POP!! Pop is cheap and delicious and in no way good for you. Put all the vitamins you want in it, Coke, it's still bad for you.

My soda Mecca, if you will, lies in Scottsdale. It's called Pop the Soda Shop and it is a beauty to behold. Different sodas from all around the country and the world. It looks like about 800 sq. ft. of wall to wall liquid goodness. They even have some that claim to be good for you but I generally steer clear of those and go straight for the good stuff. I found, what I think, is one of the best root beers I've ever had. It goes by the name of Capt. Eli's. It's a very refreshing root beer flavor, not too sweet with a little bite to it. What I really like about it is that there is a hint of wintergreen that works wonders with the overall flavors. I highly suggest you try one...or six. If you don't like it, you are crazy.

You really cant go wrong with too much at Pop. The staff is pretty knowledgeable (some more than others) and the prices are great for trying new things. There's not too much that's over a dollar a bottle.

Here's a few suggestions if you go:
Capt. Eli's Root Beer
Boylan's Cane Cola (or anything Boylan's)
Henry Weinhard's (any flavor)
Dublin Dr. Pepper
Hank's Vanilla Cream Soda

Give us our wives back, Stefenie Meyer!!!!

My wife has recently been held captive by Ms. Meyer in book form. She’s been reading the Twilight series for months now. It hasn’t taken her that long to finish them; she goes back and reads them over and over again. She says she’s “putting pieces of the puzzle together” and she finds more ’secrets’ each time through. I’m frequently part of a conversation that involves issues like “who do you think is cuter in real life, Jacob or Edward?” (Apparently the answer is Edward.) The basic genre/format of the book, according to Kristi, involves a high school-like romance involving vampires, werewolves and normal people. Oh, and love. Don’t forget love. Lots and lots of love. Apparently there are struggles when you fall in love with a vampire and are friends with werewolves but I have no idea what they would be other than keeping your friends from trying to kill you all the time. Given the description, here’s what I see in my mind when I try to picture what these books are really like: I see the cast of Disney’s High School Musical with fangs and really pale skin. They go around biting people and falling in and out of love, turning into bats, fighting and getting back together with an occasional appearance of Michael J. Fox as Teen Wolf. Maybe he’s surfing on top of a moving van, maybe not, but he’s definitely the star of the basketball team. I haven’t decided if there’s dancing and singing or not. But there is for sure a lot of eye rolling from me and probably every other man whose wife has been claimed by these books. Curse you, Stefenie Meyer, and your cunning literary snares!!!

Dinner and a Show

After Brooklyn finished her dinner and drank all her milk, she was wondering what to do with her cup. Of course, put it in the sink where it belongs didn't cross her mind. But sucking it to her face seemed like a good enough idea. We though it was too since we grabbed a camera and made her do it some more.

American Gladiators Auditions Rejects

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VOTE for Mike's band, Regular Heroes, to play at the Tempe Music Festival

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The Wife

So here I am, posting my first comments! I really wish I knew more about how to do things like this because I love reading everybody else's stuff. This blog was actually my idea, but I knew I couldn't get it started without my honey. So he took on the task and ran with it. I love it! I almost makes me want to delegate more often. . . .right
My life basically consists of many things. (Does that even make sense?) Brooklyn, Mike, work, Mary Kay, choir, girl's nights out, books, church, some tv, and on occation sleep. I'll try to keep everyone updated on things going on with me and funny thoughts I might have. (I have some every once and a while) We'll keep you in touch with Brooklyn too with all the funny things she does and says. I swear, it's better than having a puppy. Until next time . . .

You know what I could really go for? A canned hamburger!!

This could possibly be the greatest, or grossest, thing I've ever heard of. I'm a guy. I like hamburgers. I'm also a fan of canned food products. I'm all for long shelf life. But never has it crossed my mind to combine the two. A German company did think of it and then actually made it! I can only imagine the crazy brain-storming session that led someone (or several someones) to think this was a good idea. I'm willing to bet this had to get more than a few stamps of approval from managers and CEO's before this baby was made an awkward reality. If you don't believe that this is a real "food" item, check it out HERE. It roughly costs almost $6.00 US. So, for the same cost of an entire value meal from anywhere, you can get an authentic German hamburger that's been soaking in it's own fluids since it was sealed in its tin tomb. Chances are that's where it should stay and according to one review "It tastes...not so good." The reviewer even went as far as comparing the quality of the canburger to that of a McDonald's hamburger. Take that how you want it. I've been racking my brain since I read about this thing and cannot come up with any situation where this kind of product would be necessary or even wanted. If you are craving this, please get help soon. I think they have special pills for you. If you've eaten this, please visit your nearest Poison Control Center (and, dude, can I have your Xbox 360 if you die?).

So We're Sort of Famous Now... Click HERE to See How!

About two months ago I filled out a form on AZcentral.com to be part of a segment called Chow and Tell. You basically form a team and the Arizona Republic pays for the dinner anywhere you choose and you, in turn, write a review that's published online. The group I made was selected. The Date Night Revival Squad consisted of Kristi and I along with my parents and we visited four different restaurants. I wrote all four reviews and had a blast doing it. Our reviews are now posted online and you can use the link above (hint: it's the post title) to read all our experiences. I'm actually being considered for a freelance writer position for the food section now. We'll see how that goes. Please leave your comments here on what you think. I'm getting tired of patting myself on the back, it's your turn now.

Any More Room On The Bandwagon?

So, in order to keep up with all our friends and family we've decided to create a blog. Only this will be the most awesomest blog ever!! Prepare to be dazzled. We'll try to keep you up to speed on all our family doings, funny things Brooklyn's done and whatever Mike finds that's entertaining (at least to him). Here we go...